Fin is going to walk the mile home from school today on his own.
Even as I think of him with his rucksack and school shorts, chest puffed and proud smile towards the world, my heart flutters with the beginnings of loss.
Each new stage of growing up is both triumph and bereavment. My milk skinned darling, who sits in my lap and lets me kiss the fuzzy nape of his neck, will broaden and grow tall and step out on his own journey without me.
My heart swelled with admiration when Fin popped through our bedroom door this morning full of plans, having checked the weather for the week and worked out his route home to the step. "I feel really ready for this new independence!", he said breezily, as though it were really rather nothing at all. Yet I could see the excitement making his restless feet twitch, to be on with the day and getting to the part where he walks home on his own.
I marveled at his rich vocabulary and excellent choice of words. This baby, who I have fed by breast and fingers and spoon, is such a person in his own right that I can hardly believe the alchemy of it all.
I can't wait for three thirty, when I see his face at the door, flushed with achievement - and still get to gather him up like a long eared rabbit and snuggle while he tells me about his day.
x x x
Even as I think of him with his rucksack and school shorts, chest puffed and proud smile towards the world, my heart flutters with the beginnings of loss.
Each new stage of growing up is both triumph and bereavment. My milk skinned darling, who sits in my lap and lets me kiss the fuzzy nape of his neck, will broaden and grow tall and step out on his own journey without me.
My heart swelled with admiration when Fin popped through our bedroom door this morning full of plans, having checked the weather for the week and worked out his route home to the step. "I feel really ready for this new independence!", he said breezily, as though it were really rather nothing at all. Yet I could see the excitement making his restless feet twitch, to be on with the day and getting to the part where he walks home on his own.
I marveled at his rich vocabulary and excellent choice of words. This baby, who I have fed by breast and fingers and spoon, is such a person in his own right that I can hardly believe the alchemy of it all.
I can't wait for three thirty, when I see his face at the door, flushed with achievement - and still get to gather him up like a long eared rabbit and snuggle while he tells me about his day.
x x x
12 comments:
what a bittersweet moment! i can only imagine the process of letting go to such an independence! :)
How exciting. How fast it all goes. I am grateful for every day. While our wee ones become so independent, they are also still here with us and bringing such joy to our lives. I keep that joy in my heart when my wee one ventures out into the world.
How exciting for him to be setting out on a new independent adventure! Did you send him with a whistle, white glove and stop sign? :-). I have a teacher friend of mine who let her triplets walk home together alone only with their accessories--the whistle, glove and stop sign. She laughs now, but in the beginning she was most neurotic about the whole thing. They're 17 now and have made it to and from school just fine for many years now!
Hurrah for him! I walked the mile to school and back for years and wish I could let my children do the same.
I say hurrah for you and for him. what a good spot you live in that it is possible and wonderful.
go well with the walking!
Very sweet! It's hard to let our babies grow up. Mine is almost six and I just hope he'll want to stay in my lap and hold my hand for a lot longer.
Awwww this is so sweet! You have a wonderful way of writing and this was very moving... I'm 15 but I only recently started taking the bus on my own to school which was a difficult thing for my mum to get used to so I get how you feel. But we still wave at eachother through the window everyday! So I hope you and your son always stay close. Good luck
Teenie Foodie
Totally adorable . . . you are wise to savor such moments.
I love seeing little ones, in this case a not-so-little one, experience their own independence being tested and stretched in a safe, happy, and nurturing way. You are such beautiful mother for giving him what he needs at each stage. Can you imagine what kind of "grown-up" he will be?! Thanks for caring for your son and making the world a better place. And cheers to him...and you!
Oh, the transitions are both so exciting and hard for all! We need to let them grow up to be strong, independent souls, but we so like protecting them and keeping them in (or very close to) the nest. ;-)
Hugs,
Shirley
Thanks to all for your lovely, lovely comments!
It does make my heart sing to know that we live somewhere where it is possible for Fin to taste a little independence so young.
Learning all the time to let him grow up and away and rejoice in the process!
x x x
You do have a delightful way of conveying your thoughts using the written word, Naomi. Your blog is such a joy to read for that reason! Sounds like Fin might be showing signs of being blessed with your eloquence. ;)
Lauren,
What a lovely thing to say! You've totally made my bank holiday! x x x
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